Going away

I'm going away for a little bit...  See you all someday soon...

The end of life as i know it...

Yup...  I'm giving up on ever being happy with someone I love...  It's not fair but I can't take the pain anymore...  I had finally found the one person who taught me what love truly is...  And I lost her...  Not through any fault of my own..  Neither was it her fault...  For I know she loved me too...  Let's just say outside factors came into play that neither of us had any control over...  And we both lost...

So where do I go from here?  I haven't a clue...  But I can say honestly that I'm not looking for love any more...  Just friends...  I had found my only true love and just because she's not mine to hold?  It doesn't mean I'll ever stop loving her...

I miss you, my Sweet Dream...  ILU

Sometimes can hurt so much...

Sometimes we want what's important to us...  The things we don't want to live without...  A nice house...  A new car... That once-a-month/week/day trip to our favorite restaurant...  Lots of good friends...  Someone we can love with all our heart...  And who will love us the same in return... 

Sometimes the thing we want most can cause problems...  That house was poorly built...  That new car uses too much gas...  That restaurant gave you food poisoning...  A difference between friends may lead to the loss of the same...  The one you love may break your heart through no fault of her own...  And you may be causing the love of your life so much pain, agony and grief just by being there for them...

Sometimes knowing what to do and doing it are so very hard...

True love? Really?

Just when you've found the love you only dreamed about all your life?  Don't be standing on a rug...  It really hurts when it's pulled out from beneath you!!!

For those who wonder...

Yes, I wonder sometimes too...  I wonder why, after all these years, I finally found love unlike anything I ever thought could exist...  Why every waking moment is centered on thoughts of her?  Why, when she looks my way, my chest feels so full...  And hard to breath...  I wonder how she feels...  But then I hear her say my name...  And I know...  I have found my Forever Love!!!  I love you, Lai!!!

Piss off the world...

Ok, here's s few comments guarantied to get me hate mail...  Though I never read any I get anyway...  No time!  Hehe!

I was just reading the reviews about AMERCANAH...  A book that is constantly described as how a black person is perceived in America...  Now, I may be Canadian but I can still figure out the one thing reviewers and newscasters can't...  It doesn't matter the color of your skin...  People of other different color are going to be treated the same way!!!  Black, white, brown, pink, green...  Somebody somewhere is going to be treated well/poorly/indifferent by somebody else!  It ain't a color thing...  It's a stupid people thing!!!  If America was so down on black people, don't you think the President might have a say in matters?  What was his name again? 

November greetings from the Philippines

Hmmm...  Been a few days, has it?  Well, life's been busy here...  I moved for starters...  From Central Park to one of the Executive Estates in Cabantian...  Beautiful place!  So far, I have a beautiful bamboo Sala (livingroom) furniture and a bamboo bed to match...  No diningroom table, no refrigerator and no curtains!  That's next month...  Along with a mattress!  I hope!  And the air conditioner will have to wait for January...  Lol! 

As for my love life?  As mixed up as ever!  L is confused and scared to feel again...  Though when she describes how she feels?  As if from a romance novel...  She just doesn't know it.  And A...  The one I moved to the other side of the world for?  She's back in my life but gently...  A couple emails apologizing for what she did...  And what did she do?  She got scared.   Think about it...  You're a young woman who's entire life has been either school or looking after her mother...  You've never had a boyfriend...  Never had that romantic kiss...  Never experienced love in a relationship in person...  Even with me except for a few short days...  And then she is expected to move in with a man she's known only by his letters...  I would have been scared too!  So do I blame her?  Not at all!  I just wish she had talked to me about it... So, we are talking...  By email...  Slowly... 

Internet here is really bad...  At least by my pocket WiFi...  Lol! Next month?  I think I need to upgrade..  Probably the PLDT Speedster plan...  50 gig data at 10Mbps - which we all know will be under 1Mbps...  Lol!  But it beats Globe's 3 Mbps for the same price...  Lol!

And, yes, this is November!  I have a book to write this month!!!  I have gotta get busy!!!

One last thing but the most important!  Isabel Nicole was born November 3rd...  Another beautiful little girl - this time to James and Kelsey!  This grandpa spent about 6 hours crying in his chair... 

When we die...

Have you ever thought of what will happen when you die?  Will you be surrounded by your loved ones?  Will your last days on earth be happy ones with family? 

Now think about if you are alone...  Family is on the other side of the earth from where you are...  What about loved ones with you?  What if you are committed to a relationship that is one sided?  Where she can never be with you?  Does this mean you die alone?

I don't know the answers to these questions...  But I have good reason to wonder...  And, someday?  I'll have those answers...  Life really sucks sometimes.

Beaches and the Ow...

It's Saturday...  Clouds are still having around off the coast but they will be gone soon...  The rest of the sky has that faded white look but hopefully it will be replaced by that beautiful blue I associate with the sky in paradise...  For today is Beach Day!  My friends are all heading to Buda and a resort named Jive...  Hehe!  I wonder if they all disco in the water at night?  Anyway, it's the parents, sons and daughters and grandkids all going away to enjoy themselves!  Ron is staying here to look after the store so I'll try to help out throughout the day...  Right now, in having coffee and just trying to stay out of the day...  Hehe!  Someday I hope to be doing things like this but, for now, I will just enjoy the local life...  Someday, hopefully, L and I will reach a point in our lives where we can be together...  And, if not?  At least I'll have the best friend in the whole world!!!

Hopefully L will be feeling better today...  If you can feel better after having a tooth out!  She broke it a while back and had been trying to live with it but the pain just got to be too much!  And dummy me didn't realize just how much pain she was in!!!  Be it a cultural problem, communication problem or I just didn't understand...  And for that I will eternally be sorry...  Sorry for not being supportive enough...  Sorry for not realizing sooner and possibly helping in some way...  Sorry for being an all-round dummy!  I know she will be in pain later but hopefully not as much as she has been...  And if I can do anything to help?  You know I will!!!

Sin... Is it or isn't it?

Sin...  The elephant in the room since the Garden of Eden...  The one thing done by man that will keep him from attaining his place in heaven...  But you know what?  God gave us free will...  He gave us the knowledge to devise and try different things...  New things...  And, yes, some of these things are against the teachings of the Bible...  The book that holds the true word of God...  But is it truly the words of God?  Or what some man in ancient times believed to be what God was telling him?  Don't get me wrong...  I believe in the morality of religion...  The morality of the Bible...  I just take most of it as a lesson and not the full word of God...  Think of a child's Whisper Circle...  Sit a bunch of young ones in a circle...  Whisper a word or saying in a little one's ear and then have them whisper it to the next person...  And so on...  Until the whisper has gone full circle...  And what you will hear then?  Something completely different!  I believe our Bible today is like this...  It started out with the right idea but has now gone around the circle!  What was originally the word of God is now more "the word of God as told by achim of Babylon and according to Sam the deli butcher"...

Which brings me back to my original point...  Without going into why today, I believe God to be a loving and forgiving deitity...  He gave us free will to do as we see fit...  He knows we will make mistakes...  Big ones...  Little ones...  And everything in-between...  And if we eventually learn from our mistakes?  Forgiveness...  It's not hearing us swear out our mistakes God wants to hear...  It's what we learned from our mistakes He wants to hear!!!  How we will go forward and lead a better life!!!  For He is our forgiving Father, is He not?

Paris is for those in love...

So this come to be?  You never know...  Hehe!  L and I were teasing each other while she was helping me learn Basayan today...  And the subject of Paris came up...  I WILL take L to Paris someday...  And we just may stay...!  You never know what we kids may do!!!  All I know is this...  What makes her happy?  I'm all for!!!

I better brush up on my limited Francais...  Oh oh...!

Coincidence?

It's 2 am and I am awake... Don't know why but...  L was awake shortly after 1 am and sent me a message...  She had fallen asleep while I was saying goodnight online to her last night...  When did I first wake this morning?  It could not have been long after 1 am...  Hmmm...  Coincidence?  Ok, time to go back to sleep and dream of the woman I love...!

Another wonderful day...!

Well, I had another wonderful day!  I met with my most special friend and her children today...  A little bike riding at the park, a journey through a sari sari owner's fav (also known as the Great Wall), dinner in a little (big?) spot inside the NCCC, and then a big wave goodbye as they headed for home...  A quick walk for a dozen blocks and then I jumped into a Jeepney for the rest of the trip home...  A quick stop at Ron's and then home...  And back online with my most special friend to discuss changes to her 3 year old's birthday party at the pool tomorrow...  Yes, I had another wonderful day!!!

Sweet dreams, my Sweet Dream...!!!

A little rain never hurt anybody...

I have a friend.  And she has 2 young children...  Right now they are at home...  It is raining a good rain... And they are outside...  Showering in the rain...  "What's that?", I can hear so many others exclaiming...  " Showering in the rain?  How... ". This is where I will tell those people to shut up.  Sorry but...  So many people, living their well-to-do lifestyle, forget that not all the world is the same...  Some places the people pay so very dearly for things we all take for advantage in the western world...  Like inexpensive clean water...  " Just how much is the price?", you ask...  And then scoff at the answer...  But did you ever stop to consider what a person makes for an income there?  I wish everyone could travel the world...  Learn how hard life can be in so many different ways...  And learn the joy that can be found in the simple things we take for granted...  And, if I had my wish?  I'd be having an exquisite shower in the rain with them!!!

Starting again...

Good morning, good afternoon, good evening!  Welcome to my initial (again) entry to the blog that had no particular theme...  Why?  Well, I tried the theme thing before and it just didn't work for me!  So, all the old is gone, and the new is coming...  Expect to hear anything and everything...  Some Life Coaching tips...  Maybe a little hypnosis advice or tools...  New recipes...  Or even dating advice...  Yes, that would be me doing the asking!  Hehe!  So, pull up a chair, grab a coffee or other cool beverage, and don't snore too loud!  And, please!  I won't be here every day...  And I may be here a couple times a day!  But I do promise to be here this time!

Ciao!